i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize