she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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