i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
we should paint friendship bongs
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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