Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
