So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize