I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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