69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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