I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
So squirting runs in the family.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
