Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
