The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
