we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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