it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
