oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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