I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
