Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
did you just send me my own nude
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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