you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
