whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
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I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize