So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
