He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Please don't give away my fajitas
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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