i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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