When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
