Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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