how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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