i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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