Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
