It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize