i don't like sucking hair
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
