I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
