Buhtt sex?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
