Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
