Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
