Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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