i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
