Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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