Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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