THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
