yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
