a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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