At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
