counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
