you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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