I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My vagina just recognized that song.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
