You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
