While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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