i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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