so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Im part way to drunk.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
