No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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