Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
