Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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