I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
