make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
