I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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