We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
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Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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