I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
