He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
