If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
