Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
