yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
