Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
