Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
